One objection against Islam which sometimes comes up in various different forms, is how badly we treat our women. It is felt that they are treated like second class citizens, who have no rights or freedom etc. But the truth is that Islam established full rights for women and emphasised on having a good attitude towards women.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was very keen on improving the condition of women in society and on securing for them a position of dignity and fair and equitable treatment.
No religion before Islam had so clearly and firmly established a women’s right of inheritance and her right to possess property.
In fact, those rights have only been established in England in the last 100 years, when the Married Women’s Property Act came into force. But 1400 years ago the Holy Prophet permitted women, whether mothers, wives, daughters or sisters to a share of the deceased’s inheritance.
In Islam, a woman is the absolute owner of her own property, and her husband hasn’t any rights to it. If the brother is entitled to a share of the property, then so too, is the sister.
The attitude of men towards women in Arabia before Islam was very bad, they treated women as second-class citizens or even worse. Therefore, the Holy Prophet wanted to ensure that the men fully understood the teachings of Islam concerning women. He pointed out to them that both men and women will be equally rewarded in the Hereafter as related in Chapter 9:71-2 of the Holy Quran:
And the believers, men and women, are friends one to another. They enjoin good and forbid evil and observe Prayer and pay the Zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger. It is these on whom Allah will have mercy.
Surely, Allah is Mighty and Wise, Allah has promised to believers, men and women, gardens underneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide and delightful dwelling places in Gardens of Eternity.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was so careful concerning the sentiments of women that on one occasion when he was leading the prayers he heard the cry of a child and concluded the service quickly, explaining thereafter that as he heard the cry of the child he imagined that the child’s mother would be distressed at its cry and he had thereafter concluded the service quickly so that the mother could go to the child and look after it.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, once during a battle fell from his horse and some of the women also fell from their mounts. One of his companions, who was riding a camel immediately behind the prophet jumped down and ran towards the Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, to release his foot which was still in the stirrup. The Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, released it hastily and said to his companion:
Don’t bother about me, go and help the women.
The Holy Prophet laid so much stress on obedience to and care of your mother. Taking his lead from the Holy Quran which relates 17:24-5:
Thy Lord has commanded, that ye worship none but Him, and show kindness to parents. If one or both of them attain old age with thee, never say to them as much as ‘ugh’, nor reproach them, but always address them with kindly speech.
The Holy Prophet informed his followers:
Paradise lies at the feet of your mother
Once a man came to the Holy Prophet and asked to be told who was most deserving of kind treatment at his hands?
The Holy Prophet replied, “your mother”. The man asked, “and next to her?” The Prophet repeated, “again your mother”.
The man asked a third time and the Prophet again replied, “still your mother,”and when the man asked a fourth time, he said, “after her thy father and after him thy nearest relatives and after them thy more remote relatives.”
The Holy Prophet was asked, “What claim has my wife upon me?” to which he replied:
feed her with that which God bestows upon you in the way of food and clothe her with that which God bestows upon you in the way of clothes and do not chastise her nor abuse her nor put her out of your house,
He also related:
The best amongst you is he who is best in his treatment of his wife,
Again he said:
You have rights over your wives as they have rights over you.
The more civil and kinder a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect is his faith.
Concerning the daughter, he said:
One who brings up two daughters and give them good education shall be with me in Heaven.
To ensure that a good Islamic society was established the Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, had to ensure the believers followed the Islamic teachings on Marriage, Polygamy and Divorce.
Concerning Marriage, in Islam, the main purpose is ‘to win the pleasure of God and have a good partner who you can find peace and contentment with and for the procreation of the human race”. It is not for the fulfillment of your sexual desires.
In Islam we have arrange marriages, where the parents look for an ideal partner for their child, it does not encourage free mixing of the sexes as this leads to many dangers which ruin the society i.e. Fornication, Adultery, etc.
When the parents choose a suitable partner for their child, they look for four things which are compatible with both partners, these being:
family background; wealth; beauty and piety, the most important is piety.
One misconception about marriage is that sometimes the child is forced to marry their parents’ choice. The Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has made it very clear that a woman, whether a maiden or widow, should not be given away in marriage without obtaining her free consent.
On this the companions of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, asked, “O prophet, how can we obtain the consent of a maiden if she remains silent through shyness?”
The Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, replied:
If the maiden observes silence, her silence should be taken as consent
If the guardians or parents give her in marriage without her consent, then such a marriage will be considered void and the girl will have the option to have it cancelled.
Another misconception is about Polygamy. The Western society cannot accept this beautiful teaching. In the West many people have relationships outside their marriage, but this is nearly always for their sexual desires and because it has no responsibility.
This is not a reason for a second marriage!
The most important thing to bear in mind is the reason for marriage which I have already related, it is a commitment and not for fulfilling our sexual desires.
The reason remains the same whether you marry one or four, you should be looking to winning the pleasure of God and having a good partner who you can find peace and contentment with.
In Polygamy the most important thing is that the Holy Qur’an informs us that we must treat each wife fairly, being just.
Most Muslims have only one wife as there is no reason to have a second wife, but one reason for Polygamy is that case a wife can’t have children and the husband wants children. Is he meant to divorce his wife to remarry! Is that fair?
But with Polygamy, he can have a second wife, keeping the first and having the children he desires. There are many other reasons, but time doesn’t permit me to go into them now,
Another misconception is divorce. It is believed that in Islam all the man has to do is say
I divorce you” “I divorce you” “I divorce you” and he is divorced.
This is wrong. The Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said:
Divorce is the most hated of all lawful things in the sight of God.
There are many checks to prevent divorce – one being that the man after asking for divorce has to live and provide for his wife for three months in the hope of reconciliation and to discover if the wife is pregnant or not. There also should be someone from both sides to try and resolve the problems – much like the marriage counsellor in this society.
Once divorced, the couple have the option of remarrying if they desire. Even it that ends in divorce, they can remarry a third time it they desire. But the husband cannot pronounce all three divorces at one and the same time.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was annoyed when he once heard someone do this and said:
Is the book of God going to be made a plaything while I am yet among you?
If the woman wants divorce, then she may have a divorce even if she has no other reason than that she can’t get on with the husband.
Finally, I would like to close with a saying of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
The most perfect in faith amongst you is he who is best in the treatment of his wife, the more a man is good to his wife the greater shall be his value before God.