How can I control myself and be at peace?

  • December 23, 2017

Islam in Arabic means Peace and Islam means not only peace, but obedience and submission.  Obedience and submission to whom – to Allah, the One God.

So the answer to find real peace, real inner peace is to turn to Allah, be obedient to Him and submit to His will. If we do that, if we put our full trust in Allah, resign ourselves to His Will and strive to win His pleasure, then and only then can you find real inner peace. As it is through striving to win His pleasure and doing things to please Him, which means that you cut off your own ego.

Your direction in life changes and instead of trying to please yourself and in doing so, being very greedy, self-centred and self-absorbed, you instead turn to Allah and seek His pleasure.

For instance, in this material country, we are constantly being pulled from every side to buy things, which means that we have to run after these things. We need to work hard to make money, so that we can spend more. This becomes very stressful and we never seem to be content with what we have, we always want more, better, faster, we are never satisfied, so we become more stressful and irritable and take it out on others.

Whereas, the faith encourages us to spend in the way of Allah not to be attached to material things, instead strive for the next life.  In this way, you can enjoy the things of this world, but more importantly be happy and content that you are also striving for the things of the next world.

In this country, the United Kingdom, being a Christian country, nearly everywhere has a break to celebrate the Christmas holidays.  The children have a holiday, at most workplaces, they have a holiday and it is meant to be a time of ‘peace’ and ‘goodwill

As Muslims, naturally we do not celebrate the birth of Jesus (may peace be upon him), but living in a Christian country, we cannot help to be effected.  The celebrations are everywhere, in the shops, in the streets, on your television etc.  you are constantly reminded that it is Christmas time.  But it also brings out the best in some people as they think and put others before themselves, whether they are religious or not.  They buy presents for one another; think about the poor and needy and strive to spread ‘goodwill’

This is also something which is greatly stressed upon in Islam.  The Holy Qur’an relates:  “Surely, all believers are brothers.  So make peace between your brothers, and fear Allah that mercy may be shown to you”  Chapter 49, verse 11.

Likewise the Holy Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings of Allah has also said: “Faith is goodwill”.  We asked ‘towards whom?’  He answered “Towards Allah, His Book, His Messenger, leading Muslims and the general public” (Muslim)

It is a very beautiful saying and one which promotes peace and goodwill

Again the Holy Prophet has also said:

“A person is not a believer unless he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself” (Bukhari & Muslim)

We should all try to act on this saying, that before you do anything, you should consider whether you would like that thing said or done to you.  If you would not like it done to you, then do not say or do it to others. It would help greatly in finding peace.

It is related that when the Holy Prophet died, he had only a date in his cupboards. Likewise when the Promised Messiah died, he only possessed one rupee.  But these are exemplars of people who had real inner peace.  Despite their condition, they remained cheerful and content, they could have easily asked their followers for more, but they did not need more, so why ask?

Both Holy Prophet and Promised Messiah were constantly abused, slandered and degraded, but they would not rise to the occasion, they never went down to other people’s levels, instead they would try to raise people to their level.

Of course, it is nice for people to listen to you and act upon it, but everyone is different; they view things in different ways. What is good for one person, may not be the same for another, so we have to have patience, self-control and put our full trust in Allah. If it doesn’t happen the way that you wish, do not take it out on others, but resign yourself that you have done your best.

The main way to attain inner peace is to control yourself, control your temper, your tongue and your actions. The best way to achieve that is to constantly remind yourself that ‘is what you doing pleasing Allah?’

If you lose control, then do self-examination, think why you did it, resolve to try to improve yourself.

Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad, the fifth Khalifa of the Promised Messiah, has said:

“A believer is an ambassador of peace.  Therefore, our every action should be in accordance with the teachings of Islam.  We should always avoid being led by worldly passions. We should keep examining our hearts to see how righteous we are.”

The Promised Messiah has said regarding Taqwa (righteousness) and its attainment:

“If we give way to temporary passions and our actions are not in accordance with the teachings of Islam, then this cannot be called Taqwa.  If our words and our actions do not reflect the light of God, then we should be worried about our level of Taqwa.

So we should try to develop peace within ourselves and then help everyone to try and attain what you have found.

This is the time for peace and goodwill, but not just for a few days but throughout your lives.